Real Life Conversations

14 Aug

free-vintage-digi-stamps_retro-clip-art-002In my exploration to better understand myself I often talk it out with my best friend and sorority big sister, she’s always amazing to talk to; she’s patient with me and understanding plus she’s married now so she better understands most of my problems with guys. Today we were texting and her thoughts on the topic I think others might find helpful as well:

Big: Talk to ____ at all recently?

Me: No he’s sick today, but I’m totally convinced he’s not interested. I have to go out of my way to say hi to him…idk if that’s a shy thing?

Big: Just cuz its not love at first sight doesn’t mean there isn’t potential

Me: I like him, I just feel like he’s like ‘what are you doing?’ lol

Big: Most guys are like that [my husband] had no clue I was hitting on him and he did like me and I literally had to tell him to ask me out…

Me: Really? How do they not get it????? I feel like I’m being too obvious

Big: Men don’t take hints. Their brains are wired so differently. Women think everything is a hint lol an we over analyze. They are just brain dead. Hahaha

Me: Oh lord. So what should I do?

Big: Just keep talking and being nice and I would ask him to lunch or something.

Me: So how do some guys not get it an others have no problem pursing women?

Big: I just don’t know. Some men see the world though sex colored glasses. Others don’t.

Me: That’s annoying and hilarious…so that begs another question…would I rather be seen with sex colored glasses? My initial reaction is no…I’ve been seen that way before and they’ll never see you without them…so it would be better to teach him to see you when he doesn’t initially?

Big: Sex colored glasses is a bad thing. That means he lets his biology run him. A guy can turn on sex thoughts if he isn’t wearing the glasses. But, it has to actually be brought to his attention. He won’t automatically go there…you know what I mean?

Me: Yes, I just don’t understand why I suck at starting relationships.

Big: It’s just cuz you don’t have experience getting in a guys head. Once you get close to a guy and start to understand his thought process it just all falls into place.

All advice is accepted

All advice is accepted

I think the hardest thing for me to really grasp and utilize is that guys aren’t complicated. I feel like they are but that’s probably from my female need to rationalize, explain and give meaning to things that they probably don’t even realize transpired. The idea of being forward with a guy is terrifying…so many things could go very, very badly…but if I don’t, well I don’t want to think of the negatives today.

I have confidence in the person I am and what I would bring to the table… I just need to get over my old school mentality that guys need to make the first move. The world wont end if I do; right?

If you are a shy guy or are dating/married/friends/relative to a shy guy what do you think I should do?

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