Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself. -Saint Francis de Sales

20 Aug

Man this is such good advice! I am the least patient person on the planet…I know this for a fact. I am constantly worried about the next step, the next everything. This trait is probably helpful in my current line of work because I am always planning and looking forward but in my personal life it causes unnecessary palpitations.

When I wrote “The Deadline” (a previous post) I was mostly just annoyed that the people around me weren’t adequately planning and that got me to thinking about the origins of the word “Deadline”. After some research I found the interesting back-story and how it grew into its meaning today; all of which is very interesting to the major history buff in me. If you want to read more check out the original post.

After the post went live one of my closest friends commented on it and suggested that I needed to take the thought process further. The history of it was interesting enough but I’m writing a single girls blog here; how can I tie that back? Well that’s easy enough; and a very good critique. (Thanks Big)

What deadlines am I placing on myself? Honestly to many…

  1. This entire blog. I have decided I need to do a list of 40 odd things before I am married- that deadline is an unknown obviously but I have a feeling that I have plenty of time.
  2. Have my student loans paid off in 5 years, preferably before I am married and definitely before I have kids.
  3. Live on my own, but only after my loans are paid down by half.
  4. Live on my own for a year before I get married, it’s 2013 I don’t need to jump right from my parents house to my husbands house. I’m not that kind of dependent girl.
  5. Stay at my current job for at least a year then start looking for a better paying job.
  6. Be married before I’m 30….recently revised to 35 so I don’t give myself stomach ulcers.
  7. Date my husband to be for two years at least before we are engaged, be engaged for a year before we are married, be married a couple of years before we have kids. going off this math If i met someone TODAY I would be almost 28 before I got married and over 30 before I had kids….makes me ill; hence the timeline adjustment from 30 to 35.
  8. If I’m not married before I can no long have kids, just kill me; again an ambiguous deadline… but my mom went through “the change” in her late 40’s early 50’s so I have about 20 years yet.
  9. Get my masters degree before I’m married; bucket list item but it’s really important to me.
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You have to be the one to adjust the thoughts in your mind.

Essentially all my deadlines involve this twisted idea that I need to rush an make things happen before I meet someone…I may never meet anyone! And yeah I’ll own up to it my deadline expectations sound ridiculous but I can promise you a lot of girls play those numbers in their head. We have acceptable social timelines to live up to and the pressure is intense!

I don’t want to waste my life or not live a full life so I have an entire blog devoted to completing pre-dating milestones pre-marriage experiences while I’ve already started the post-dating post-marriage deadline list.

Sad, sick, and sadistic. I’m just asking for a psych evaluation; but aren’t we all just a little crazy? No one looses their sanity faster then trying to live up to the expectations of others all the while our expectations for ourselves are the real problem.

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3 Responses to “Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself. -Saint Francis de Sales”

  1. danielleslone August 20, 2013 at 9:53 PM #

    I really enjoyed this post!!! You give some good advice and I agree patience is key life, though it’s hard to deal with when everything else is working against you.

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