Boundaries

2 Oct

Engineer%27s+compass+Ann+graphicsfairyWhen you’re driving down the road you stay between the yellow and white lines right? What about when those lines are gone? Do you drive down the middle or on the left?

My guess is you just stay where you’re suppose to.

It’s interesting that as a culture we build these boundaries that aren’t crossed and if they are all heck breaks loose. Lately the lines on the road have been making me ichy. Not physically I need medication “ichy” but I want to put the four-wheel drive on and roll through the hills ichy.

I am, in general, so sick of boundaries. If I want to tell you you’re a jerk I’m gunna do it. If I want to drive in the hills and not on the predetermined manmade path we should be allowed to do it. I get that boundaries are in place to make people safe, preserve relationships, and keep the world around us running smoothly; and the ironic part of all this is I prefer people to just do what they’re supposed to do.

But what if we stepped across a boundary? Would chaos ensue? Would it really be all that bad if I told gender roles to kiss my booty an asked a guy out? Would it really be all that bad if I decided to go off-roading because the pre-laid path bores me?

You know I did what I was supposed to do. I graduated high school, I went to college, I graduated college, I got an adult desk job… and you know what? I’m not all that happy. I did exactly what I was supposed to do; I stayed in the social boundaries. But I can’t help but wonder if I would be happier if I walked across the line and did something out of the acceptable or expected or whatever else.

I’m sick of being scared of coloring outside of the lines. I have got to figure out what I want. I have to figure out what is going to make me happy, and the only way I’m going to be able to do that is if I can “man up” and not be afraid of what will happen if I walk outside of the predetermined social path.

I’ll say this though it’s not anyone in my family who have put those boundaries up; I know both my mom and older sister read my blog an ask me later if they did something wrong and they haven’t. I just don’t ever want to waste my life or disappoint anyone. I want to be a good person and be successful but I am so worried I’ll make a mistake.

So I just stay between the lines.

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7 Responses to “Boundaries”

  1. Kim October 8, 2013 at 1:24 AM #

    I say “go for it” life is too short Jamie take a walk on the wild side (just don’t go too far; I have to say that, after all I am still your mother).xoxoxo

    • jamielynnneal October 8, 2013 at 1:29 AM #

      Ha ha ha I’m not talking about any guy in particular mom it was an example

  2. MamaBear October 9, 2013 at 9:50 PM #

    You are a amazing person. I believe we come to lines in life where we say is this really where I want to go? I did what I was supposed to do as well- finish a Bachelor degree in Science, was accepted into grad school and my career was really start to go somewhere. But, I was miserable. I tried a path that is often less accepted in this society, but I have never felt happier or more fulfilled. There are not easy days, but I am happy. We all must not settle for statuesque. You have so many talents and gifts that are so uniquely to you. Searching is part of growth. Oh, ya I think its find to ask a guy. If they cannot handle that straight forwardness from you, that person could not handle what a great person you are. Love you, James.

    • jamielynnneal October 9, 2013 at 9:55 PM #

      Ah my lyds I miss you, I thinks funny that our perspectives are so different- you think your choices are not socially acceptable and I think my choices aren’t socially acceptable and we lead opposite lives. Very interesting. Grass is always greener right? Yeah the man I marry will have to be a saint to put up with the crazy odd girl that I am. Love you lyds

      • MamaBear October 10, 2013 at 1:40 PM #

        Not necessarily greener, I believe we always have people that state our actions are not what they consider us doing. Ultimately we must consider what is right for ourselves not what others want for us. And yes, my husband comes nearly saintly in dealing with my artistic personality. Its part of ebbs and flows of a relationship. We all have to be a little crazy to make it work. LOL

      • jamielynnneal October 10, 2013 at 2:43 PM #

        Your relationship rocks an your kids are to die for adorable I want that one day; even if its crazy and lets be real we always knew any man either of us married would have to be either nuts or a saint.

  3. MamaBear October 10, 2013 at 5:13 PM #

    Aww, James I love you. Ever stage of life has good points, my dear. We never stop learning, growing and being stretch beyond what we think is possible. Hugs.

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