Probably, Possibly, Potentially, Perfectly Happy

28 Mar

64fceb3e0aa4602de806a7e4e5d1a3e0I am standing at the cross roads of a major life transition and I’ve been seriously dragging my feet in the decision making process. I know that I am capable of anything I put my mind to, and that’s not me being cocky I can feel it in every cell of my body; I know that I am able, capable and meant to do more. I just cant decide which road to take…

I have a novel in the back of my mind that I’ve been working on for about 4 years now, some of it I have written but most of it I’m still chewing on; that’s my process by the way I pre-write everything I do in my mind so I can play with it and tweak it mentally before I ever type it out. I do this because I question myself if I try to type it first, I get distracted by spelling and grammar easily and pre-writing it helps eliminate some of that since I already know exactly what I want to say.

I’m considering going to grad school, I love the process of learning and being in the classroom participating in lectures is a high, truly, I feel so alive in that environment. Problem is an education is expensive and you better know exactly what you want to do, no turning back, and I don’t yet. I know what I don’t want to do with my life…does that count?

I could move to Columbus, Florida, or Colorado and have a pre-made support system at every location but am I really ready to move permanently? Sure I hate the small town mentality that fester where I live but I love my parents and our house, and the friends I have here. What would be ideal would be a temporary excursion the type of job that has you all over the world but home is home-base. And to be perfectly honest there is something that would allow me to do this, I could see the world, I could feast on knowledge and make a difference and trust me I am trying, trying, trying to make that happen.

I could pick any one of these options and probably, possibly, potentially be perfectly happy. Is there a destiny and if so what’s mine? Is it just what I make for myself or is that already laid out? Wouldn’t life be easier if I was really only good at and only interested in one thing? Yeah, I think it probably would be…but I imagine it wouldn’t be half as fun.

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