Singular

10 May

gibsongirlinwaterThere are so many things I want to do; places I want to experience, movies I want to see…unfortunately I feel like I need to do all those things with another person.

If I want to see a friend in in another state I try an wrangle another friend into going with me. I want to track my lineage in Germany, see the seven wonders or eat pasta in Italy I feel like I need to have a travel buddy. I get it, it’s safer that’s why I don’t take my passport right now an hop a plane. But it’s more then safety. I don’t want to experience the world and make memories alone.

Even something as simple as seeing a movie; I won’t go alone. I can be jumping out of my skin exited to see something but if no one else wants to I’ll wait for it to be available on demand. Everyone says you have to learn to be alone before you’ll be a good couple, but that doesn’t make sense! Did they eat dinner, see movies, and travel alone before they were paired up? Probably not. I’d be willing to bet they met in high school or college and never once did anything actually, truly, and literally alone.

The world is set up for things to be done as groups or pairs; tables in restaurants, roller coaster rides, swings at the park… humans are social people we live and work together so when we see a crazy cat lady who lives totally alone we laugh at her or judge her, or worse we feel sorry for her. But hasn’t she done exactly as everyone suggested and learned to live alone?

“Single” people would be, and are, perfectly happy when they’re surrounded by groups of people, not having to do anything alone. It’s not about being in a relationship with the mythical “soul mate” its about not having to make memories alone. This drives some people closer to their friends, family, even their work. But for some people it drives them to a relationship that is all wrong for them.  I’d guess I made my choice and would rather be “single” then in the wrong relationship. But what I never want to have to do is not live or make memories singular because of that choice.

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