3rd Anniversary; College Graduation

5 May

graduation-girl-clip-art-932133 It was three years ago today that I walked across the Ashland University Stage and accepted my Bachelors Degree in Journalism and English, officially graduating from college.

Three years is a long time, a long time that went so fast. I’ve spent my day so far reflecting on what I’ve done with those three years and for the most part I’m disappointed in myself.

It took me six months after graduation to find a decent job, over a year after that I was laid off. I spent quite a few months unemployed but with a full-time job scouring the internet and connections for another job; I applied to nearly a thousand jobs during that time, and I counted so that number is accurate.

What I’m disappointed in is my student loan debt climbing and being unable to make a dent because the interest is so high.

yckg57G9iI’m disappointed that I got burned out being a journalist.

I’m disappointed that I have this mind-set that is knowingly preventing me from working in retail or restaurants to make more money.

I’m disappointed I have no goals or direction. Three years after graduating college I still have no idea what I want to do. None.

Do I go back to school? Can I risk the debt? What do I go for?

Do I keep applying for full-time jobs? Where do I apply? What jobs should I look at?

What would make me happy? No idea.

How can I be 27 years old with a college degree, living at home, and still only be able to get a part-time job? Because I don’t know what I want to do, I’m stuck. Still. 

I know if I had a goal I’d be making it happen. I am just so fearful of making a mistake that I’ll never be able to bounce back from, so I feel a constant weight of failure.

Today’s 3rd anniversary is not welcome.

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