8 Feb

In high school boys tormented me; if they saw me eating during lunch they’d offer me their own lunch as well, obviously I was still hungry being “Shamu” and all. So I stopped eating lunch, or I’d cram a granola bar in my mouth in secret as I went up the back stairs to class.

Sad thing is, I wasn’t even that chubby yet. I just had hips and a chest. But the not eating basically shut down my metabolism and as the years went on I did get chubby, very chubby. I tried every diet and exercise, and gym out there. I went to doctors specializing in weight loss, nutritionists…didn’t matter. The damage was done both to my mindset and my body.

The result is a terrible relationship with food and eating. Being tormented in high school lead me to hate food; I don’t want to eat, I don’t enjoy eating an when I do I feel shameful an guilty like I don’t have a right to be eating anything. 

Now as an adult I’m trying so hard to eat right and exercise I was getting right in my head but I’ve put a good portion of what I loss back on even though I’m still working out and eating right, it still doesn’t seem to be enough.

Working and sacrificing…and still having it not be enough is soul crushing.

I think what truly bothers me the most is people assume I’m weak or lazy when they look at me. I’m neither of those things.

So Friday I start a new round of life style changes with a diet to kick start me. 


6 Responses to “Diet”

  1. kim February 8, 2017 at 10:41 PM #

    Good Luck! If anyone can do it it’s you, you have GUMPTION!

  2. midcenturycurves February 8, 2017 at 11:09 PM #

    I can relate to a lot of this, but the thing that hit me was the difference between being fat and just having hips and a chest. This was me. And now look at me…I’m actually fat. *sigh*

    • jamielynnneal February 14, 2017 at 12:05 PM #

      The average size of American women is now a 16, plus Marilyn Monroe was a 16; don’t get much more beautiful then her!

  3. charandtheweb February 14, 2017 at 10:02 AM #

    As someone who has struggled with food in the past (for different reasons) I wish you the best of luck. Rebuilding a positive, healthy relationship with food can be a journey but there is definitely a light at the end of it all. Really liking your blog by the way!

    • jamielynnneal February 14, 2017 at 12:03 PM #

      Thank you so much!

      • charandtheweb February 14, 2017 at 12:07 PM #

        You are more than welcome!

        By the way, would you by any chance be interested in sharing your thoughts and opinions on Creators? I’m currently looking for aspiring writers and bloggers who want their voices to be heard, to inspire, and to gain more readership along the way. I’d love to introduce you to the platform so feel free to shoot me an e-mail for more information. You’ll be able to find my contact details on my blog. Hope to hear from you!

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